I played the PC version for this review.
South Park: The Stick of Truth
South Park can be funny, but it has its faults. The jokes are unrepentantly juvenile and often predictable. The “lesson” of each episode is obviously drawn upon whatever political beliefs Parker and Stone want to display that particular week. Strawmen abound.
Bridge ME – Casual, but Playable
Bridge ME is a casual one-button game in which the player holds down that one button to build a stack of blocks to cross pits that appear them. The idea is to build them neither too long or too short, lest your character fall into a pit. If your eyes function on even a basic level, you’ll have no trouble with Bridge ME except for the bonus stages which appear every seventh pit. It does increase in difficulty as you progress but only the bonus stages present any serious challenge.
Johnny Appl – Not Saving The World, But It’s Trying
Quiz video games go back a long ways. You Don’t Know Jack , Scene It! , electronic versions of game shows (I recall nearly falling asleep to the Genesis/Mega Drive version of Jeopardy! in 1995 or so), tons for the Super Famicom that never got released in English, and who knows how many Flash games. It’s a simple and easy method of creating a game: Find some questions, find the answers. Hardly anything else is necessary. So when Anton Doos wanted me to review his quiz game, I wasn’t expecting much, especially since it was still in alpha.
What surprised me was not the game itself but the intent behind it. Continue reading
Wild Kiwi – Too Casual For Me
After the fall of the bafflingly popular Flappy Bird comes a slew of imitations to scratch that casual itch. There’s Flying Cyrus , Flap MMO , and… Wild Kiwi .
Frogger — Timeless
1981’s Frogger is an important part of video game pop culture. It’s not as recognizable as other early 80s arcade characters, but the concept of a top-down view of a small creature running through traffic and across swamps is iconic. Tributes have appeared everywhere from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance to Seinfeld . But being recognizable doesn’t make a game a good one. Why should you bother with Frogger 33 years later? Because it’s still an entertaining game that challenges the player and rewards them for their expert play. Continue reading
Attack on Titanfall – This Game I sn’t Very Good
Titanfall is Call of Duty with giant robots. If that sounds like the coolest thing ever to you, go buy it and ignore the rest of this review. For everyone else, please stick around while I gripe about playing the beta.
A Review of Valdis Story: Abyssal City
Valdis Story: Abyssal City is a 2013 Metroidvania by Endlessfluff Games. It’s better than most.
Thanks, Wikipedia. I could never get any animated screenshot software to work.
Nidhogg — Frantic, Jittery Combat Across Norse Skylofts
Nidhogg is… sort of a fighting game. It has two characters facing off against each other but everything else is unconventional. You fight with swords, but you have a single attack button and no health meter. A single strike is fatal. There are no combos. But the purpose is not merely to kill your enemy; that’ll happen dozens of times regardless, but it’s not your goal. Killing your enemy only gives you time before they respawn, time for you to run towards your destination at the end of the level whereupon your character has the honor of being devoured by the great serpent. Therefore you must be good at not only killing but sprinting through the scenery, navigating obstacles, and dodging errant attacks from chasing enemies. And the pacing is ravingly fast; act quickly or die.
Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
What’s with the name of this game? Revenge and vengeance mean the same thing, so why make a portmanteau that doesn’t carry any new significance? Kojima probably just thought it sounded cool.
The Metal Gear Solid series is about stealthy levels, actiony puzzle boss fights, and unbelievably nonsensical plots. Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance isn’t like that, though… it’s all puzzle fights and nonsensical plots! It reminds me of DmC Devil May Cry, a game that I found surprisingly enjoyable even though the entire internet told me it was unplayable corporate garbage. Both games are flashy hack-n-slashers with terrible writing, dorky-looking character designs, and big heaps of entertainment value.
9 More Horrible Video Game Memes That Need to Die
"Meme" just means "idea that spreads" but on the internet, it means beating a dead horse’s stones to get blood out of them. There is generally a huge disparity between the humor value of an internet meme and how much people like it. Just come up with something new to say once in awhile to avoid this stagnation; or failing that, you can at least write a stupid list of easily-digestible platitudes. I sure know which one pays the bills!
Monkey cheese humor at its worst. Don’t have anything funny to add to a conversation? Photoshop (or even better, MSPaint) this ugly picture of Luigi into a picture as a substitute for a joke and watch the accolades roll in. It’s an old meme, but even to this day I still see people post Weegee, thinking that the mere presence of a video game character without context is a surefire recipe for hilarity. You could use Luigi to try to make some sort of jest and succeed at comedy , but why go to the trouble of writing something when you can copy-paste instead?