Ramblings: Women in Gaming

This is us.

The game industry is in a dual arms race towards complete nuclear destruction. It’s between angry feminists who will give no quarter and rapey misogynist manchildren who are making and buying the games and always recoil in hurt rage when anyone points out that they are misogynist manchildren and totally can’t see it themselves.

Despite the disgustingness of the average gamer, they are entitled to whatever disgusting filth they choose to consume. There is another faction that is dead set on preventing the game industry from filling the needs of its biggest market. But that biggest market is full of absolute dolts, so to hell with ‘em.

I realize that putting anything but a white male human or a talking CG animal on the cover of anything will result in lower sales. The unwashed masses expect white men to star in everything and they tend to spend less money if that expectation isn’t met. Game developers want the big bucks and that means not taking a risk by making their protagonist a member of a gender that makes up half of the human race.

Sure, you can venture out and make a black male protagonist if you have an crime-riddled open-world game like Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas or the Saints Row series and you’ll still sell millions of copies. But will the average gamer (Who, let’s remember, is a complete moron) buy a first-person shooter or a platformer with one of those disgusting woman creatures on the cover? No, from a business standpoint it’s much better to play it safe and pile on the Y-chromosome whiteys. It’s what people buy, so why bother having the courage to take economic risks and risk creating something innovative?

You can make your game’s main character a black man, a purple alien, a red demon, an orange one-celled organism, or a blue erinaceomorph . You can cram your game with electric yellow rats, space marines with arms as thick as telephone poles, or even fat Italian plumbers. But a woman is out of the question in the great majority of cases. And if you do have one of these mysterious female creatures, they have to be constructed to appeal to the prurient sexually repressed desires of your idiotic fanbase that can’t accept any characters other than idealized versions of themselves. Anything else has to be Banal Rainbow Unicorn Adventures to appeal to girls too young to realize how horrible their gender has it in life. (Though come to think of it, Banal Rainbow Unicorn Adventures may attract some of the lunatic Brony/bestiality crowd. Greedy gaming company executives, feel free to steal this idea.)

You know what? Don’t even worry about creating strong female characters. Don’t worry if your strong female character’s traits are secretly just stereotypical male traits. Don’t worry if your female character is helpless and needs rescued too frequently. Don’t even worry about whether or not your female character is oversexualized. Just give us more female characters. The great majority of them will be badly-written, but who cares? It’s a start. Just increase the number of female protagonists, female villains, female sidekicks, female bystanders, female leaders, female shopkeepers, female everything in video games (And all other forms of media) and then we’ll be making baby steps towards treating women like full members of the human race.

Too bad they had to ruin Samus , too.

If you don’t realize how horrible women have it in the video game industry, this too-short article will help a little bit. The gaming industry is full of imbeciles who treat women about as well as the Belgian Congo treated hands. And while publicly shaming people is a sketchy mob mentality tactic, as long as the victims are knuckle-dragging apes I don’t have a problem with it. You could cut out every single white male video game protagonist in the world and I really wouldn’t care as long as the results are still fun to play.

Anita Sarkeesian’s Kickstarter project isn’t going to solve anything. Her videos are trash. I already know that women are twentieth-class citizens in the world of video gaming. Yes, it’s horrible that a woman can’t post anything on the internet without 4chan morons calling for her hymen on a spike. Just because some repulsive neanderthals take delight in her suffering doesn’t mean that any of Sarkeesian’s videos will be any good. Look at the unwatchable trash she’s already produced. Your Kickstarter pity money that you gave to someone on the internet because other people on the internet insulted and threatened her isn’t going to result in anything but more worthless videos with slightly higher production values.

Whenever I watch any live stream of a game (Especially fighting games) and a G-G-G-GORL!?!?!?!? appears on the screen, the chat goes absolutely bonkers at the possibility of a female creature invading their space. I’d like to see some of the "stream monsters’" physical bodies displayed like slabs of disgusting hairy meat for others to ridicule.

And the retards who keep buying and promoting brainless T&A in video games keep making things worse for people who want to see a game that can actually pass the Bechdel test . My novel passes that test, but only from a minor scene; if the Bechdel test’s intent was to make writers self-conscious about their own innate sexism, it’s working.

But don’t get me wrong. There are most certainly gaming industry women who deserve your ridicule ( Leigh Alexander , Jennifer Hepler ) but that’s for their incompetence and arrogance, not for their chromosomes. And there are far more male cretins around, anyway (Which is to be expected, given that it’s a heavily male-dominated industry, like basically all industries are). Games journalism as a whole is hilariously bad, and that goes for both of the sexes. We suck. We’re all bad at this.

I admit to having some misogynistic and homophobic tendencies, but I recognize that they are faults to be overcome. I’ve used tons of sexist and homophobic slurs in my life, and once in awhile they were even funny. I don’t care about appeasing the PC crowd and their idiotic "trigger warnings" and their self-defeating creed of victim mentality. And I don’t think telling someone their argument is invalid because they are male cis scum will help women get the equal treatment and equal pay that they honestly deserve. But everyone on this horrible planet owes it to themselves to judge everything with a clear mind. Cast away your preconceived notions about everything. Death to tradition.

Women are universally treated like garbage and that is bloody evil. Everyone deserves your respect until they do something to lose it. So can we please start hating people for their behavior and their personalities and not for traits they were born with?

About Lee

Lee Laughead writes stuff about video games.
Politics, Ramblings, Video Gaming

2 comments


  1. I’m going to quote your last 2 sentences on my tumblr today.

    And I’m so glad that Manga came about and changed the whole male-dominated thing in comics.

  2. Lee

    Seanbaby, on being accused of using hurtful words:

    "I live in San Francisco and my favorite places are bars, gyms, and used book stores. When I’m meeting a blind date I tell her to find me by looking for the only man not wearing roller skates. If I was scared of gay people, my only hobbies would be shrieking and putting on more pairs of pants. I guess my point is: readers, if you’re enjoying a comedy article and it’s satirical and ironic for 1000 words, stops to humorlessly mock a social group or race for one sentence, then gets satirical and ironic for 1000 more words, you either uncovered the worst hidden agenda in history or didn’t get a joke. It might be time to return your Defender of Human Rights Badge until you’re not a retarded fag."

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