The Ninja Warriors – The Best Beat-Em-Up

The Ninja Warriors – The Best Beat-Em-Up

Beat-em-ups were in vogue in the early 1990s. Capcom’s 1989 Final Fight is responsible for legions of imitators ( many by Capcom themselves ) and they introduced a surprising amount of variety for a genre that consists largely of walking in one direction and punching street thugs. It’s true that beat-em-ups had more than their share of excellent entries in the late 1980s ( Double Dragon II: The Revenge for NES, for example, is just superb) but arcades and home consoles in the 1991-1994 time period were in my opinion the best for the genre.

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Beat-Em-Up, Video Gaming

Ascendant: A Capable But Flawed Roguelike-Like

  Ascendant : A Capable But Flawed Roguelike-Like

ascendant_title_screen Ascendant is a 2D platformer with randomly-generated procedurally-generated levels and loot. The action is unforgiving and the plot is negligible—two things I find refreshing in a video game. Ascendant owes a lot to Spelunky and The Binding of Isaac (two other challenging Roguelike-likes). I’ve seen many procedurally-generated platformers in recent times, and it’s a trend I definitely appreciate.

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Beat-Em-Up, Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Platformer, Roguelike-Like, Video Gaming

BattleBlock Theater is Great

WHIMSICAL

WHIMSICAL

BattleBlock Theater is Great

BattleBlock Theater is a 2013 puzzle platformer from The Behemoth. I played the PC version, which just came out on Steam last month. It was worth the money.

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Online Gaming, Platformer, Puzzle, Video Gaming

Final Fantasy Tactics – Best Game Ever Made?

final_fantasy_tactics_yoshida_akihiko Final Fantasy Tactics Best Game Ever Made?

The true best Final Fantasy , the one that most people overlook, doesn’t even have a number. Made during Square’s creative renaissance in the late 90s, Final Fantasy Tactics for the PlayStation marks the highest point of the series as well as Square’s apex in general.

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Animu, Fantasy/Sci-Fi, RPG or thereabouts, Strategy, Video Gaming

The Debate Over the Final Fantasy Series

The Debate Over the Final Fantasy Series

What’s your favorite Final Fantasy ? The most common favorites are VI and VII, but opinions vary wildly. You ask someone to rate any game in the series (whether you’re online or off) and you’ll never get two of the same answer.

No one can agree on which Final Fantasy games are good and which ones aren’t, let alone the best and worst. The below (in-character?) rants give you just a sample of the snide comments you’ll see on the internet when you bring up the subject. Everyone has an opinion on every game, especially VII, whether they worship it or despise it. Whatever Final Fantasy you like, people on message boards will line up to tell you your opinion is wrong.

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Comedy, Fantasy/Sci-Fi, RPG or thereabouts, Video Gaming

Two Total Failures With a Lot in Common — Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z and Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2

I thought about just using this pic as the whole review. It's more succinct.

I thought about just using this pic as the whole review. It’s more succinct.

Two Total Failures With a Lot in Common — Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z and Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2

This is a 2014 game in a long-running series many know and appreciate for its punishing but reasonable difficulty. The series has had its share of sequels, spinoffs, remakes, and re-releases. It began in Japan in the late 1980s and continues to churn out new iterations to this day due to its relative popularity. The newest entry in the series is a U.S.-made attempt to revive flagging sales. It is a terrible, dumbed-down, Americanized (in both gameplay and writing), grimdark, QTE-riddled, unenjoyable mess. Notice that this paragraph could apply to either of the games in the title of the article.

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Beat-Em-Up, Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Kusoge, Video Gaming

Ultra Rapid Fire — Riot, All is Forgiven

ultra_rapid_fire_hecarim Ultra Rapid Fire — Riot, All is Forgiven

I’ve been critical of Riot Games’ League of Legends and its infamously awful fanbase in the past. I keep asking for rad stuff that they don’t deliver—variably due to their incompetence, the implausibility of my demands, and the fact that the only people who read my website anymore are my mom and Brazilian spammers.

One of the requests I’ve made frequently is the addition of new maps and modes. I realize that these are generally difficult to create and most of the users are ungrateful for their addition. (Does anyone even play Dominion or Twisted Treeline anymore? Maybe if they brought back the old, better Twisted Treeline so CrumblingCenturion could make cool videos again.)

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League of Legends, Online Gaming, Video Gaming

50 Ridiculous Things People Googled to Find This Stupid Site

50 Ridiculous Things People Googled to Find This Stupid Site

And my overwrought responses. Oh hey, it’s time for another one of these articles. I could have sworn this was a video game site.

# of bones fantasica

This terrible game made a lot of "bones" alll right.

This terrible game made a lot of "bones" all right.

 

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Comedy, Not Video Gaming, Self-Indulgent Nonsense You Can Safely Ignore

Thoughts on League of Legends Season 4

I wrote something.

http://www.8bitgamer.com/article/editorials/thoughts-league-legends-season-4/

 

Commissioned, League of Legends, Online Gaming, Video Gaming

Cursed Balloons: Casual, But Not Bad

cursed_balloons Cursed Balloons : Casual, But Not Bad

Cursed Balloons is a free browser game in which the player shoots arrows at the rising helium globes at the right of the screen. The object is to hit every balloon of certain colors while avoiding others, and your ammunition is limited in every level. Games like this have quite a long history. The oldest I can think of off the top of my head is Bow and Arrow , a Windows 3.1 title. They have become even more common in recent years as the popularity of in-browser casual games increased. Cursed Balloons is more challenging and aesthetically pleasing than most.

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Commissioned, Video Gaming