Wild Kiwi – Too Casual For Me

wild_kiwi Wild Kiwi Too Casual For Me

After the fall of the bafflingly popular Flappy Bird comes a slew of imitations to scratch that casual itch. There’s Flying Cyrus , Flap MMO , and… Wild Kiwi .

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Android, Commissioned, Video Gaming

Frogger — Timeless

Frogger Frogger — Timeless

1981’s Frogger is an important part of video game pop culture. It’s not as recognizable as other early 80s arcade characters, but the concept of a top-down view of a small creature running through traffic and across swamps is iconic. Tributes have appeared everywhere from Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance to Seinfeld . But being recognizable doesn’t make a game a good one. Why should you bother with Frogger 33 years later? Because it’s still an entertaining game that challenges the player and rewards them for their expert play. Continue reading

Commissioned, Platformer, Video Gaming

Attack on Titanfall – This Game Isn’t Very Good

titanfall_beta Attack on Titanfall – This Game I sn’t Very Good

Titanfall is Call of Duty with giant robots. If that sounds like the coolest thing ever to you, go buy it and ignore the rest of this review. For everyone else, please stick around while I gripe about playing the beta.

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First-Person, Online Gaming, Video Gaming

A Review of Valdis Story: Abyssal City

valdis_story_abyssal_city_azudor_ire A Review of Valdis Story: Abyssal City

Valdis Story: Abyssal City is a 2013 Metroidvania by Endlessfluff Games. It’s better than most.

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Beat-Em-Up, Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Indie Games That Don't Suck, Metroidvania, Platformer, Video Gaming

Nidhogg — Frantic, Jittery Combat Across Norse Skylofts

Thanks, Wikipedia. I could never any animated screenshot software to work.

Thanks, Wikipedia. I could never get any animated screenshot software to work.

Nidhogg — Frantic, Jittery Combat Across Norse Skylofts

Nidhogg is… sort of a fighting game. It has two characters facing off against each other but everything else is unconventional. You fight with swords, but you have a single attack button and no health meter. A single strike is fatal. There are no combos. But the purpose is not merely to kill your enemy; that’ll happen dozens of times regardless, but it’s not your goal. Killing your enemy only gives you time before they respawn, time for you to run towards your destination at the end of the level whereupon your character has the honor of being devoured by the great serpent. Therefore you must be good at not only killing but sprinting through the scenery, navigating obstacles, and dodging errant attacks from chasing enemies. And the pacing is ravingly fast; act quickly or die.

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Fighting Games, Indie Games That Don't Suck, Video Gaming

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

X-TREME BATGROWL!

X-TREME BATGROWL!

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

What’s with the name of this game? Revenge and vengeance mean the same thing, so why make a portmanteau that doesn’t carry any new significance? Kojima probably just thought it sounded cool.

The Metal Gear Solid series is about stealthy levels, actiony puzzle boss fights, and unbelievably nonsensical plots. Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance isn’t like that, though… it’s all puzzle fights and nonsensical plots! It reminds me of DmC Devil May Cry, a game that I found surprisingly enjoyable even though the entire internet told me it was unplayable corporate garbage. Both games are flashy hack-n-slashers with terrible writing, dorky-looking character designs, and big heaps of entertainment value.

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Animu, Beat-Em-Up, Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Stealth, Third-Person, This isn't just a video game this is ART you wouldn't understand it you plebian filth, Video Gaming

9 More Horrible Video Game Memes That Need to Die

9 More Horrible Video Game Memes That Need to Die

"Meme" just means "idea that spreads" but on the internet, it means beating a dead horse’s stones to get blood out of them. There is generally a huge disparity between the humor value of an internet meme and how much people like it. Just come up with something new to say once in awhile to avoid this stagnation; or failing that, you can at least write a stupid list of easily-digestible platitudes. I sure know which one pays the bills!

 

weegee 9. Weegee

Monkey cheese humor at its worst. Don’t have anything funny to add to a conversation? Photoshop (or even better, MSPaint) this ugly picture of Luigi into a picture as a substitute for a joke and watch the accolades roll in. It’s an old meme, but even to this day I still see people post Weegee, thinking that the mere presence of a video game character without context is a surefire recipe for hilarity. You could use Luigi to try to make some sort of jest and succeed at comedy , but why go to the trouble of writing something when you can copy-paste instead?

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Comedy, Memes, Video Gaming

Kingdom Rush & Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon Because I Don’t Know!

kingdom_rush Kingdom Rush

I’ve spoken before about how tower defense games are one of the few genres to work seamlessly with tablet controls due to only requiring one imprecise finger to manage everything. Further experience has proven my initial beliefs correct. Kingdom Rush is a tower defense game that first appeared as a flash game in 2011, though I played the 2013 Android version.

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Android, Fantasy/Sci-Fi, Tower Defense, Video Gaming

The Top 10 Best Video Game Videos of 2013

The Top 10 Best Video Game Videos of 2013

It’s that time of the year again! Here are ten videos that I liked. In some kind of order. As usual, if any of the videos have been taken down, let me know and I’ll re-upload them to YouTube.

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Comedy, Fighting Games, First-Person, Hardware, VGCW, Video Gaming

Indie Games That Don’t Suck: Consuming Shadow

consuming_shadow_suicide Indie Games That Don’t Suck: Consuming Shadow

Ben "Croshaw" Yahtzee has proven again that critics are not just negative nancies who gripe and whine and never accomplish anything. They too are creators. He made a really cool game, without prompting, with his own resources.

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Adventure, Exploring Stuff, Horror, Indie Games That Don't Suck, Puzzle, Video Gaming